Making a Choice
by AdmHawthorne
Summary: After Jane's baby comes, Maura decides to make a choice for both her and Jane. This is full of angst. Just know.


**R&I Characters aren't mine. They belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, Jan Nash, Warner Brothers, and other assorted important people. I gain nothing from writing these stories but the fun of doing it. Please don't sue me.**

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"It doesn't have to be this way, Maura," Jane pleaded, eyes filling with unshed tears.

"Of course it does, Jane. Sooner or later, we were going to have to address this issue, and the time has finally arrived." The older woman moved around her kitchen's island, picking up the keys sitting there and moving to remove two keys from the group. "I'm not inclined to continue doing this. Everyone is fully taken care of. Angela has a place of her own. Tommy and his family are settled. Frankie is with someone who seems stable. The family doesn't need me to be a point of stability in their lives anymore." With a jerk the two keys were off the ring and in her palm. She casually slipped them into her pants pocket.

Jane's frowned deepened. "But what about me?"

"What about you, Jane? You have a family as well. You're just as stable as everyone else." Maura crossed her arms over her chest and straightened her posture as her voice grew a touch colder and more clinical. "I can be your best friend. I can be your coworker. I can be your lover, but I cannot be your friend with benefits. Our lives are too entwined for that level of complication. You've made your choices, and now I've made mine. You chose Casey. Therefore, I choose a life in which I'm able to find someone who both appreciates me and is not ashamed to call me their lover."

"Maura…"

"I'm not a dirty little secret, and, now that you have a child with someone, that person is always going to be in your life. That's fine, Jane. I wouldn't expect anything less, but I refuse to be his unspoken competition all the time. Just because you've decided not to marry him doesn't mean that you can come running to me every time things don't go your way with him. He's either your child's father and your lover and friend or he's your child's father and just your friend, but he can't be both, and I refuse to be your second choice."

"You're not," the darker woman protested, holding a hand out as if she could stop the onslaught of words being thrown her direction. "You're not my second choice. You were never my second choice. It's just…"

"What? What is it, Jane?"

"It's complicated," the brunette replied in defeat. "Everything's just really complicated right now."

Maura waved a hand dismissively. "It's only as complicated as you choose to make it. No one who loves you would have judged you if you'd chosen me, but you didn't choose me. You chose nothing, and, in doing so, you've put me and Casey in a poor situation. Well, I've decided to remove myself from it so you don't have to put off making the choice. I'm making it for you."

"The next time Casey comes to visit, tell him I'm out of this contrived love triangle." Maura held the keys she'd picked up out to the other woman, dangling them from her forefinger. "I want you to leave now."

"Come on, Maura. Can't we at least talk about this? We can work this out. I know we can. What if we…"

"I don't like 'what if' scenarios, and, before you offer, I don't approve of 'suppose we' scenarios either. But, of course, you know that. There's so much you know about me, which is why I can't find it in myself to feel anything but relief at my decision here today, and it's why I find it hard to believe you're surprised by it. You _know_ me, Jane, and you know what I'm willing to handle, so the very fact you'd put me in a position that I would never voluntarily walk into on my own is beyond me."

"Can't you… can't you just give me a little time to figure this all out?" Jane wiped at her eyes, sniffling.

Maura slowly shook her head in the negative. "No. You've have more than enough time. You've had years." She held the keys out further.

"What do I tell Ma and my brothers when they ask about us?"

"Tell them what you always tell them. As far as they know, we were never anything other than very close best friends. Why break the illusion now?"

With a shaky hand, Jane tentatively reached forward and took the keys. "They know, Maura. You and I both know they know."

"And now they'll know something new," the other woman countered as she walked to her front door and opened it. "I'll see at work tomorrow, Jane. Give the baby a kiss for me."

"I…" The younger woman let out a heavy sigh. What little protest she had died inside of her and she deflated in a huff of regret for what could have been. "Yeah, okay…" She let her voice trail off as she walked with heavy steps toward the open door. She stopped in front of the honey brunette, eyes searching for something and clearly not finding it. "I'm sorry, Maura."

"I know you are, Jane, but it's not enough anymore."

"Yeah, I get that." With one more apologetic look to the other woman, Jane Rizzoli took her leave, separating herself from the potential she had been too scared to make a realty and setting herself onto a course of normalcy of which she was comfortable with going through the motions.

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**I don't foresee myself doing a followup to this.**


End file.
